exams are over but im still feeling ubberly down.. usually ppl tend to be very excited when they finish their exams or when they accomplished something... man this is a whole different story for me... usually i will be like WEEEEE~~~~~~ exams are over HOLIDAY!!! now is uh dead....
im super disappointed with myself for this sem man... studying last minutes was my choice and man i struggle through it... at times i nearly or should i say almost wanted to break down and cry while studying as im still on the same freaking page of my notes.... in the end i hold back my tears and continue praying so God can give me peace... but IT IS NOT WORKING!!!!!!!! GAH!!!!!!!!!! i never felt this weak b4 in my entire life besides goin through a rough moment for the begining of the year till june
i told joy but it did not help.. nothing can help me... after todays paper i went into a deep depression mood as i was driving my way to wincomm to pass something to joy... with my super stress and tired face i walked into wincomm... grrrr HATE this feeling... btw i din even sleep the whole night due to the pressure im goin through... talked to joy and also justin.. but i still feel numb and depressed...
waited for joy to go mcd instead of having ice cream i went for nuggets as i only ate cup noodle to last me the whole day... plus i did not eat the previous day... yeah yeah i know SELF ABUSING!!! but i really cannot help it by doin this way to torture myself... my brain keeps on telling exams la for wat wanna eat study la... so there i followed what my brain told me... having gastric pains in the middle of the night was what i expected with my own smartness i drank water to stop my tummy from sounding =(
obviously now there are many negative stuff in my mind now... keep on telling me im STUPID... for making such decision.. STUPID in answering and writting crap on the piece of paper bla bla bla in conclusion IM STUPID!!!!! super mad at myself right now =( is this human nature to think about oneself????
telling myself to look on the bright side as hey excursion is coming... holiday is on u can enjoy till the next sem comes... btw i will be on a trip to MY GOPENG this sunday and will be back on mon.. will blog about it when im back... till them ppl