Saturday, September 5, 2009

AM I CHANGE?

it seems i have not blog for ages.... currently i have no idea wat to write cuz im having the so called "writer's block"... recently i have not been talking alot and have been not going out. why? I DON KNOW AT ALL... not in the mood i guess... i have been saying no to many stuffs....

anyway despite of having frens around me i never feel that im happy or feeling the joy watever u wanna describe it.... its like the fire in me has been put out by water... eventhough i have the urge to go out and in the end i will say no and stay at home and start starring at my com doing my assignments... i have accomplished one and i have 2 more to go...

mayb i feel caught up by my assignments as i feel stress that my frens had started with their 2nd assignment and im still in my 1st one... i kinda felt discourage everytime when in class especially during accounts... when everyone has finish and proceed to the next question i feel so self-concious that im still stuck in the same bloody question and trying to figure out how to solve it... GAH!!! competition =(

once a person ask me am i lonely nowadays??? hmmm i was always lonely eversince young... never thought it has a great impact on me when one ask this question... i wanted to find ppl to talk with but in the end i decided not to and juz forget bout it... mayb im change to a more isolated person where i used to be... does loneliness effects a person's feeling???

sometimes being the youngest is not happy at all... some would think that the youngest gets everything.. in fact yes but have u ever think of their feelings??? for me being the youngest would be the saddest thing in my entire life... i got no one to really talk to besides God and frens but i don usually find my frens to talk to as i would think that im a burdance towards them... *frens including church*

well anyway i want to stop here cuz i don feel like goin on as it really make me more sad =( so bye

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